A Story that left us Rolling on the Floor at Lunch

We have a crazy lunch time group and sometimes we are really out of control. We are loud and we have too much fun for a therapy session.

Today's topic took us out. We read the story in our local Sun Star and the implications just drove us over the edge.

Now you have a chance to do the same:

Merced County Main Jail inmate's stashed 'shank' is surgically removed
Prisoner had hidden the weapon inside his body cavity.
By VICTOR A. PATTON
vpatton@mercedsun-star.com

Don't try this at home -- or in jail.

An inmate at the Merced County Main Jail had a homemade knife surgically removed from his body cavity last month, according to Merced county Sheriff's officials.

He now faces concealed weapons charges.

This 5-inch plastic weapon was recovered from Rance Johnson, a prisoner at the Merced County Main Jail, after surgery at a Modesto hospital.

The inmate, 19-year-old Rance Johnson, approached corrections officials Nov. 18, complaining about an item stuck inside his rectum, causing pain, according to Deputy Tom MacKenzie.

Even worse, Johnson told deputies the improvised weapon -- known in jailhouse slang as a "shank" -- had been inside his body for three weeks.

He was taken to an emergency room in Modesto, and the 5-inch-long plastic shank was surgically removed, MacKenzie said.

"The taxpayer money does cover actual stupidity; hence this guy did have to have this surgically removed," said Sheriff Mark Pazin. "It's unfortunate, but it's a mandated surgery."

MacKenzie said Johnson told investigators he had no idea what the item was, that he'd found it in an interview room and tried smuggling the weapon by inserting it into his rectum. The item was wrapped inside tissue paper and placed in a sandwich bag before it was inserted, MacKenzie said.

Johnson is being held at the jail on suspicion of shooting a 17-year-old male near Castle Airport in September.

In addition to the concealed weapons charges, Johnson is facing an enhancement for allegedly committing a crime while participating in a criminal street gang.

My additions:
Yes the poor Dr, that took it out.. he didn't know sh
The defense attorney. " He didn't know..."
The jury.. Listening to the details
The judge.. trying to keep a straight face